No More Mr. Nice Guy!

I read the Repulsive so you don't have to

Occasionally, as a service to you, the reader, I post headlines from news stories so fresh they haven't actually broken yet. Today I'm doing something different. Here is a preview of the Arizona Repulsive's endorsement for the governor's election in November.

First, a little context. After decades of rethug governors who were lunatic-right wingnuts, mental midgets, ethical pygmies and flat-out criminals (and that's not even mentioning Jeff Groscost, Rick Renzi or J.D. Hayworth, just three of an endless parade of corrupt rethug Arid Zone buffoons), the people of Arizona finally copped on in 2002 and elected a Democrat, Janet Napolitano. Already highly experienced and respected as a US Attorney, Napolitano has since won kudos from all but the most mouth-foaming extremists for her performance. She inherited a record deficit, but her fiscal responsibility, hard work, combination of pragmatism and far-sightedness, and her skill at building consensus have put Arizona on a better footing than it's enjoyed in decades.

Naturally, this presents a dilemma for the Repulsive. The field of candidates in the 'thug primary was unusually weak, dominated by two stark raving lunatics who frantically tried to out-wingnut each other. Would the Repulsive endorse the Chief of the anti-sex police, Len Munsil, or the deranged would-be builder of concentration camps for illegal aliens, Don Goldwater? After much mental anguish and tearing of hair on Van Buren Street, the Repulsive finally issued a Munsil endorsement that was a masterpiece of squirming embarrassment. "Yeah, Munsil sucks, but you have to vote for someone so it might as well be him" pretty much sums it up. I defy you to read the editorial without getting a mental image of a six-year-old wanting to go potty.

So now that the mouth-frothing Munsil has won the primary and expects to defeat Napolitano in November, it's easy to predict what the Repulsive's spin is going to be.

Yes, Napolitano is an experienced, pragmatic leader who turned this state around from near bankruptcy. Yes, she has won bipartisan support with her effectiveness, common sense and hard work.

True, Munsil's only leadership experience is as head of an extremist fringe group that wants to police every bedroom in the state. True, he is just another conservative who believes morality begins and ends with sex, but preaches: Do as I say, not as I do.

Yes, he would drag Arizona back to the days when rigid ideologues and ethically challenged leaders made our state a nationwide laughing stock. Yes, his only weapons are divisiveness and hatemongering - he's even written an anti-gay ballot initiative which will hurt gays and straights alike, and hopes to ride on its coattails into the Governor's office.

But he's a Republican, so hold your nose and vote for him.

Fortunately, at least some Arizona voters aren't that stupid...